Teens and Cliques
All adolescents are confronted
with a host of challenging concerns. There are academic
performance issues and conflicts with parents about
clothing and curfews. Often, there are worries about money
and paying for their education and the extras that are
needed. Then, there are decisions about the future, and, of
course, about one’s social life. It is hard for adolescents
to face all of these issues.
In the ideal world, teens would be able to spend lots of
time discussing these issues with their parents. But,
often, parents live fragmented lives. They may be working
long hours while simultaneously caring for the needs of
aging parents. Feeling that their last bit of energy has
been sapped by so many responsibilities and demands, they
may have little ability to attend to the on-going crises of
the teen years. Plus, teens may consider their parents to
be a little out of touch with the times, and they may
prefer input from their peers.
So, not surprisingly, many teens gravitate to cliques or
tightly interconnected circles of friends. These are
classmates who share interests and values. They fill
emotional voids. There are probably at least a few cliques
in just about every middle and high school. The larger the
school, the greater the number and diversity of cliques.
Teens turn to the members of their clique for advice and
support. Adolescents spend their free time with them.
Cliques are the best sounding board if teens are having
problems with their teachers or parents. Members of cliques
will listen and be accepting.
In the midst of the sometimes-impersonal school
environment, cliques give adolescents a feeling of
belonging and profound acceptance. During the often-taxing
adolescent years, that sense of connection may be quite
important and help one cope. Clique friendships may give an
adolescent the motivation or confidence to try something
new such as an intramural sports team or a more demanding
class in school. Or, they might inspire a teen to volunteer
some of his or her time at a local shelter or soup kitchen
or raise money for an important cause.
People will tend to pre-judge teens by the clique they have
joined. There are many different types of cliques. Some of
these include both male and female teens. The student body
mentally ranks cliques. As in the past, high schools are
generally dominated by the jocks and their cliques. The
cheerleader cliques used to be as popular as those for the
jocks. But, perhaps because females have their own sports
teams, in many schools, that is no longer always the case.
Still, there may also be cliques for other teens such as
preppies, skateboarders, druggies, and serious students.
Not to be forgotten, are the cliques for the
outsiders—those on the margins of high school such as the
white surpremacists. One can usually identify clique
members by the way they dress. Throughout the U.S., these
dress codes are remarkably similar. When a teen is a member
of a clique, the teen and the other members become “us.”
Everyone else is “them.” And is not unusual for those who
are “in” to be less than kind to those who are “out.”
Not every teen wants to be a member of a clique. But many
do. Nevertheless, they may not be accepted. Teens who are
rejected from a clique will feel saddened and alone—like an
outcast.
Members of the different cliques meet in various areas
throughout the school. Each clique has its own turf. Thus,
one clique might gather in a certain hallway. Another might
sit at a certain bench. These areas are jealously guarded.
At the beginning of the school year, freshmen students may
unknowingly sit in a clique’s area. They will be quickly
ordered to leave. And, there is generally no crossover
between the various cliques. Once a member of a clique,
that is usually where one will stay—unless the teen commits
some egregious offense or if he or she comes to the
realization that they no longer wish to be associated with
certain people. When that happens, the rejection and
ostracism may be rather dramatic and painful. Still, if an
adolescent has been a member of a destructive or negative
clique, then he or she will benefit from a permanent break.
Tension between the various cliques is not uncommon,
especially between the cliques at the various ends of the
spectrum. So, jocks frequently taunt members of the
outsider cliques. And the teens that consider themselves
outsiders have been known to respond with acts of extreme
violence, such as that which took place in Columbine High
School in the spring of 1999. During the bloodbath, which
was perpetrated by two students, rumors spread that members
of one clique, the “Trench Coat Mafia,” were after jocks,
who wore polo shirts and white baseball caps. In response,
many of the jocks removed clothing that would identify
their clique status.
All too often, by excluding, teasing or tormenting other
teens, cliques serve a negative function. They may turn
non-members into scapegoats. Usually, among females, there
is verbal abuse, which may be extraordinarily hurtful.
Among males, the abuse may be verbal, but it is frequently
also physical.
It is
important to draw a distinction between cliques and gangs.
Like cliques, gangs offer an emotional bond. But gangs,
which are even more controlling than cliques, seem to be
cliques taken to the extreme. Members of gangs view fellow
members as family. Secrets are kept within the gang. And
their turfs are not confined to the school building.
Instead, they dominate streets and neighborhood areas. And
gang activity is often delinquent and violent. Once in a
gang, teens tend to have problems with the other parts of
their lives. They may sneak out of their home at odd hours,
and their grades will begin to drop. Since they will want
to emulate the other members of the gang, they may suddenly
wear a new style of clothing, often to the dismay of the
parents. And, they may come home sporting the same tattoo
worn by other gang members. Fortunately, while cliques are
ubiquitous, gangs, especially outside the large urban
areas, are relatively uncommon.